chicalolita

Meme - Check the small print

2009-09-06T23:39:18Z

Meme - write a love poem in 15 words.

The value of my heart
Can go down as well as up
Risky business, love.

Writer's Block: Bite Me

2009-07-28T23:43:08Z

From Dr. Polidori's Lord Ruthven to Stephenie Meyer's Edward Cullen, the annals of vampire lore are filled with attractive, charming bloodsuckers. Which one would you most want to be bitten by?

View 512 Answers

Spike. Mmmm, Spike. Not even necessarily Good Spike.

Websites

2009-06-11T16:24:32Z

Erm, does anyone know how much it costs to run a website and how many hits you need to be financially viable? A website I work on exists, but is being dumped by its server.

Greatest. Website. Ever.

2009-05-02T11:30:14Z

Because real life idiots will always be funnier than anything comedians or satirists can come up with.

http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/

spEak You’re bRanes
A collection of ignorance, narcissism, stupidity, hypocrisy and bad grammar.
All the comments quoted were found on the BBC "Have Your Say" site. Yes, people really have written them. On purpose as far as I can tell.

There so needs to be an American version!

Move over Colbert, this is the greatest remix

2009-02-06T14:31:51Z

Obviously, NSFW. The top and tail is because the BBC Breakfast programme aired what was meant to be a snippet of the bleeped out rant, but forgot the bleeps!

Snow!

2009-02-02T14:19:02Z

Actual snow in London! With proper trudging through it and causing the travel system to grind to a halt! Unfortunately, this means my planned birthday trip to see a burlesque show tonight has been cancelled, because we can't get in or out of London. :( On the plus side, snow! And a puppy who very much enjoyed the new-look park.

Happy Birthday Angela!

2008-11-30T09:18:15Z

Argh!

2008-11-18T14:09:55Z

My bloody stairs have bloody collapsed! Well not entirely, but they are hanging by a thread! My brother was walking down the stairs this morning and heard a crack. We thought one floorboard might've cracked a bit. Upon closer inspection, the entire staircase is coming away from the wall! A few stairs are totally out of their hinges, another couple are barely hanging in. We called the home insurance company and they had all sorts of trouble finding someone who could do it, as they need a builder and a joiner, so probably first thing in the morning. Even the builder said it was something they'd never dealt with before. Bloody mad! We're trying to avoid the stairs as much as possible and if going up or down, doing so extremely gingerly. Gah!

Congratulations America!

2008-11-05T11:24:42Z

For once you didn't screw this up. Now stay that way, ya hear?

I tried staying up for the results, really I did, but nodded off at some point with CNN on the telly. I missed the actual call that Obama had won, but at least randomly woke up in time to see his actual speech. I flipped over occasionally to Fox News and was amused they seemed to be entirely ignoring the Presidential race and focusing instead on the local races, as if they had already given up on McCain before the evening began.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T11:25:11Z

I Iz Artistic

2008-10-24T01:37:47Z

Your result for What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test...

Balanced, Secure, and Realistic.

20 Impressionist, -3 Islamic, -1 Ukiyo-e, -24 Cubist, -14 Abstract and 0 Renaissance!

Impressionism is a movement in French painting, sometimes called optical realism because of its almost scientific interest in the actual visual experience and effect of light and movement on appearance of objects. Impressionist paintings are balanced, use colored shadows, use pure color, broken brushstrokes, thick paint, and scenes from everyday life or nature.

People that like Impressionist paintings may not alway be what is deemed socially acceptable. They tend to move on their own path without always worrying that it may be offensive to others. They value friendships but because they also value honesty tend to have a few really good friends. They do not, however, like people that are rude and do not appreciate the ideas of others. They are secure enough in themselves that they can listen to the ideas of other people without it affecting their own final decisions. The world for them is not black and white but more in shades of grey and muted colors. They like things to be aestically pleasing, not stark and sharp. There are many ways to view things, and the impresssionist personality views the world from many different aspects. They enjoy life and try to keep a realistic viewpoint of things, but are not very open to new experiences. If they are content in their live they will be more than likely pleased to keep things just the way they are.

Take What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test at HelloQuizzy

Do not screw this up, America!

2008-09-30T23:10:15Z

Admittedly, you did a great job with The Office, but this is a whole other kettle of fish. Don't you dare trample all over the genius that is Peep Show.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7643621.stm

Halloween Squeeville

2008-09-20T13:44:36Z

Attention all those who can get to London on Halloween! Jeremy Dyson of The League of Gentlemen presents a Halloween all-nighter at the Curzon, Soho, which includes the League Christmas Special, a live performance of Voodoo Lady by Creme Brulee, screenings of I Walked With a Zombie, Night of the Eagle, The Believers and Scream Blacula Scream plus face-painting, DJ and "spooky reading." The films kick off at 11.30pm and it all ends with breakfast included in the £30 ticket at 7am. Yes, I shall be having breakfast with Jeremy Dyson. No sex first, but a girl can't have everything.

I cannot express how wonderful this sounds. I got my tickets, they don't appear to be on the website yet, so call 0871 7033 988 and ask for the Halloween all-nighter. I shall also scan the fabulous flyer in due course.

In conclusion, SQUEE!

Chica, who will Goth up for the occasion

Oh, G&B, I do love thee

2008-09-02T19:28:53Z

I hate me. But Green & Black's hot chocolate with amaretto syrup takes the edge off. It's like alcohol, only without the hangover.

Chica, morose

The Bugle challenge - a sonnet for Obama-Biden

2008-09-01T22:00:34Z

Don't know how many of you listen to it, but The Bugle is the podcast by John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman. They made a challenge this week for people to write sonnets because someone realised 'Obama-Biden' is half a line of iambic pentameter. Naturally, I got out my quill. Suggestions on how to improve are greatly appreciated.

I did two versions, both end with the same joke, cos I can't let go that a place is called the Mile High City.

Obama-Biden were the names that shone
As coloured sparks lit up the Denver sky
Barack told us that all despair is gone
The world let out a great collective sigh

A million songs and speakers warmed the crowd
Would he perchance say ‘hope’ within his speech?
The buzzwords flowed like wine, clichés unbowed
And so around the doubters he did reach

Should John give up the snark, now there’s the rub
Get drunk on hope and join the Mile High Club!

************************************

Obama-Biden buttons pinned to breast
The Democrats prepared for their new reign
It was just like a ‘Change’ Oktoberfest
Hangover’s in November, yet again

John thought he’d be immune from cunning ploy
Barack’s Absinthe of hope went to his head
Drunk on propitious words and odes to joy
The skin of British snark then he did shed

The correspondent went to pillory
But joined the Mile High Club with Hillary

Farewell New York, I hardly knew ye

2008-08-19T09:58:21Z

It's official, I'm not going to NYC this year. I had intended to go for Halloween and the election, but it turns out a series of total disasters in planning have led me to conclude this just ain't gonna happen. Plus it is rather my fault, as during my mother's second (maybe third, can't remember) heart attack, I pledged to not go to New York this year if God so wished. He/She is sending me some none too subtle hints. Ah well, I'll just save up and maybe get a R1 Bluray player instead. :(

Cookie encounters a hedgehog

2008-08-06T17:10:31Z

He'd never seen one before, so was a little unsure what to do.

Americans!

2008-07-21T20:03:43Z

Couple of stories to amuse both sides of the ocean.

First, better late than never: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7517730.stm

And second, how accurate is this? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7509572.stm

Dick Van Dyke, you'll never live that down.

TCR Global Edition, episode 6

2008-06-17T13:52:44Z

Just testing this to see if it works.

This will make nerdork happy

2008-05-20T16:54:14Z

They're coming to get you!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/entertainment/newsid_7409000/7409224.stm

Colbert Report Global Edition

2008-05-12T23:33:27Z

Here are the bits from what I assume to be the first ever TCR Global Edition. His intro suggests to me that it probably was... Interesting moments include berating us for using the metric system, doing his carpentry in the nude, Globalls, non-bleeped touching of electricity and doing Hillary's patented point point clap clap dance.

TCR Global Edition 1
Uploaded by Chicalolita

The worst thing about nuclear war...

2008-05-05T00:15:35Z

...is a shortage of tea.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7382750.stm

Colbert in the UK - Radio Times edition

2008-04-30T02:06:03Z

OK, so TCR is coming to Britain next week and although every other listings mag seems to have completely ignored this momentous occasion, I knew the good old Radio Times would not let me down. Here is a scan for all you foreign folk and a note to the Brits to go out and buy it!

Puppy picspam, one year on

2008-04-13T18:04:57Z

This week we have had Cookie for a year and my, he has grown!

Well, this is the same dog and the same sofa one year later.

That's him innocently trying to convince me he hasn't got mud all over the sofa.

Also, he is quite the fluffiest dog I have ever seen. Look at that regal neck and that oddly crimped ear hair!

Medieval literature says the brain is "a little organ of pleasure"

2008-04-06T10:29:58Z

Here, as requested by lapelosa, is my response to that statement.

The brain isn't a little organ of pleasure. It's a fucking huge organ of pleasure! A pulsating, throbbing, eternally excited organ that can reach orgasm even when sitting at work being bored and idly thinking about James Marsters snogging John Barrowman. It is the ultimate G-Spot, the ever-ready erogenous zone and a bi-curious horny little bitch.

P.S. It's snowing. In London. In April.